Many weeks, possibly even months ago I started to write a blog about the coronavirus. I wanted to talk about how Chinese herbs were to treat it in china and blah blah blah…
But then the world went completely mad. There was absolutely no way of knowing what was true anymore.
In all honesty to me it felt like a global psychosis. and trust me I know what psychosis feels like.
Perhaps a little history about myself.
Psychosis
In my late teens early 20’s I was a recreational drug user. I smoked weed, drank a lot, dabbled in MDMA, smoked some meth and even tried heroin.
During this process I slowly started to develop some illusions. Some good, some far from.
And before we go down this track I don’t blame the drugs, nor do I think the drugs were the cause of it. I feel they magnified an existing issue.
Depression was my standard internal world unless I was hyped on stimulants, anxiety was an everyday thing, and voices, both internal and external were an everyday occurrence. There was no way of discerning, for me, between an external and internal stimulus. Throughout this I had good days and I had bad days.
There were days where I believed I was Jesus, there were days I believed I was the Devil, there were days where I tried to peel my face off because I thought I was an alien. And most of the time I wasn’t even high. See this continued on even after I quit drugs. 3 years in fact. It got to a point where I never though I was going to be “normal” again. Every day I thought to myself. I just want to be “normal”. But every day I had this constant battle raging inside of me of not wanting to do drugs again because I thought I may permanently lose my mind, but knowing I would never feel good again without them. Because drugs did just that. They made me feel good.
And it wasn’t because I couldn’t sit with feeling bad. I sat with feeling bad all the time. Could I accept that? Probably not? Could I sit in discomfort? Probably not. I didn’t want to. I knew I could feel good. So why the fuck would you want to sit with feeling bad when you can feel bliss?
I did everything right when I was off drugs, I ate well, exercised, slept well, worked hard, did all the things you would expect of a good citizen of earth. But everyday the first thought in my head was “today I am going to kill myself”. And everyday I had to battle not to.
Time for change
When I discovered Chinese Medicine and in particular the work of Jost Sauer, I was drawn in. Immediately I found a language that I understood and could relate to and most importantly It made sense to me.
I practiced and practiced and practiced. I took to it like a duck to water. I studied, martial arts, tai ji, qi gong, meditation, acupuncture, moxibustion, cupping, herbalism, tea and food. Day in, day out I worked and worked.
And then 13 years later, coronavirus. And just like most people I fell. I fell into fear. But I was caught. And not by other people. I was caught by my practice.
I watched and observed the chaos that surrounded. I even took part it in it. It felt exactly like psychosis. Except this time it was with every other human on the earth. I was taken in by the chaos of the virus. I was taken in by the conspiracy’s. I read everything I could find.
The List of the crazy world we live in
- Coronavirus
- COVID-19
- Vaccinations
- Bill Gates
- Police State Legislation
- Hollywood and Political Human Trafficking and pedophelia
- Trump
- Drug Cartel take downs
- 5 G
- Technocracy
- Censorship
- Privatisation of public services
The list goes on… I know you’ve read some of these things… I really don’t recommend any of it. Except you should definitely watch this.
Then I had this realisation… how do I know what is true or not?
Because literally, everything can be made up, live speeches can be created with CGI, newspapers tell you want they want, money buys you anything.
How do I know what the truth is?
What you think it is. It most likely isn’t.
And if it isn’t, what is it?
Quite literally we are seeing an unravelling of society as we know it.
Will it ever go back to being “normal”?
What is “normal”?
I mean for me, society is profoundly sick… forget corona for a second and lets look at our health… our biggest killers are still lifestyle diseases. Mental Health is going to be an absolute mess after this.
We need to do better. Not just for ourselves. For the Earth and for our Children.
When I fell this time, I forgot my myself. I forgot who I am, I only fell to the level of my practice.
“We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training”
– Archilochus
This time instead of being crippled by something I couldn’t control I went inwards. I breathed more, I ate better, I asked for help, I moved more, I embraced stillness, I aligned with the cycles of the sun and moon and I came out on top.
Psychosis, like any problem is an opportunity, an opportunity for growth, for change, for evolution.
Sometimes it starts with Rehabilitation. Fixing the body, the mind, the emotions and yes even the spirit.
I see psychosis as an inflammation of the Soul. There is something greater that wants to come forward. Something much bigger than you and I and we need to allow it. Other wise it backs up, stagnates and explodes.
I found something new in me in the this journey. A place of hope. And for me this was very difficult as I’ve never seen hope as a good thing. More the evil that sits at the base of pandoras box. Crippling people in what if’s and no action. However now I see hope as potential. It’s not what it is, it’s what you do with it. If you feed it shit, you’ll get shit. If you feed it with positivity, you will get positivity. I realised that Hope is the place within that all potential comes from. It’s what we feed the potential that creates the outcomes.
At the moment we have a place of potential in us. Currently everything is unravelled which allows us to feed that space with something new. The opportunity for a reboot. We can fill it with the same ol’ same ol’, and get back to “normal”, or we can take the opportunity to fill it with something completely new.
A New Hope
For me I’m taking this opportunity to fill it all with new potential, and that Hope, is that what I create within me, will spread faster and stronger than any virus, be more contagious than Fear, the potential for a World within that is full of Child like New Hope, Wonder, Dreams, Wishes and Fun. And cultivating that energy with Virtues of Compassion, Love, Kindness, Peace for an external world of Harmony.
How will I do this? More practice. More tai ji, more qi gong, more acupuncture, more herbs, more meditation, more services.
And to do that with a Sincere Heart, because at times like these, we need more sincerity, not more fake news, fake emotions, fake promises.
We need REAL people to stand for something genuine. And for me, I’m taking a stance for a New Hope for people to go within.
Within is where the Pure Experience lies, the Birth of the Inner Child.
For me this was my greatest blessing, because through this I was able to rediscover both my path and purpose in life. As well as to discover that the only world that truely matters is my internal world, and that the external world I live in is a reflection of the internal world that I am creating. It’s a path any human can take.
After all Corona is the aura of the Sun, it’s the glow of life. The glow of the Sun is exposing our inflamed Souls that have been fed diet of lies and manipulation from profoundly sick society for far to long, and they are screaming to be fed with Virtue.
